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Naomi simply held me until my shivering passed and I fell back into anearly exhausted sleep. I don't know whether it was because of the new flux of differenthormones rushing through my body, and brain, or what added to thatnightmare, but I was in a fairly deep depression for the next day or sothat only let go once I was chivvied out of it by Naomi and Connie. * * * * I just about ate Connie out of house and home over the next two weeks.Fortunately, between my own money from before and the money added to myaccount by Care Givers, I could have quit then and there and never hadto worry about money again in my life, even with the penalty fees forpulling out of Care Givers. I bought groceries several times duringthat period. "You're filling out very nicely," Gran observed during one of herfrequent visits.I glanced down at the swell of my breasts and let out a long sigh. Ihad gone from nothing to an A cup then jumped to a C without much in theway of. A whole new world opened up to her.She told him Matt didn't exactly regret it. She didn't exactly; it had hurt Ryan, and that was what she wanted. But it wasn't like she had used him like that. Plus, she knew, he had gotten what he wanted. Maybe they had used each other? But I didn't use him, she thought. Just because we did it didn't mean I used him. It just happened, she thought, we both got pleasure out of it, and that's that.She pushed away any guilty feelings, telling herself that people had casual sex all the time, so why shouldn't she? Why should she have to deal with love all the time? Sex was a natural thing, and humans were animals, and animals did each other all the time without dealing with love.She could fuck Kasey of course, that would be okay. She felt so free; now that she was "single" she felt like she had been released from something, something which she kept telling herself was false and detrimental.He was different from Ryan, that's for certain. And he liked her.
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